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The Worried Optimist · Fridays

Your kid thinks everyone else uses AI more than they do

A new study found students guess that almost all their classmates use AI, far more than really do. That gap fuels worry and secrecy. Here is what it means, and three calm things to do at home.

A student studying with a laptop and books in a library. Photograph by Ludovic Delot, via Pexels.
A student studying with a laptop and books in a library. Photograph by Ludovic Delot, via Pexels.

Here is a worry you may not have named yet. Your child may believe that “everyone” uses AI for schoolwork, and that they are one of the few being honest about it. New research suggests that belief is common among students, and that it is mostly mistaken.

That gap matters more than it sounds, because it shapes how kids feel about their own work and whether they tell you the truth about how they do it.

What the study found

Researchers at the University of Chicago asked 338 college students two simple questions: whether they used AI themselves, and how many of their classmates they believed were using it.

About 60 percent said they personally used AI, but on average they guessed that roughly 90 percent of their classmates did. The work was presented at a major research conference this spring.

In other words, most students assume that nearly everyone around them is using AI, far more than actually are. The reality is more ordinary, because plenty of students use these tools and plenty do not, yet almost nobody believes the second half of that sentence.

Why kids get this so wrong

The researchers point to a reason that is simple and very human. Students do not want to look like they cannot do the work on their own, so they keep their own AI use quiet while assuming everyone else is doing far more of it than they admit.

It is the same trick our minds play with other behaviors. For years, studies have shown that teenagers believe their friends drink or party much more than they really do, because we are bad at guessing what other people do in private and we tend to fill the blank with “probably a lot.”

Why it matters at home

This gap quietly causes two kinds of harm. The first is that it makes honest kids feel behind, because a student doing their own work may imagine they are losing a race against a class full of shortcuts that mostly does not exist.

The second harm is that it pushes the entire subject into secrecy. If your child believes that everyone does it but nobody admits it, they will not bring it to you either, and the conversations you most want to have (about what is fair, what actually helps learning, and what simply skips it) never get the chance to happen.

The encouraging news hiding inside this study is that the frightening picture in your child’s head is exaggerated, and that is something the two of you can actually talk about.

At home this week

You do not need to be a tech expert. You need to make the topic normal. Try one of these:

Your child is not in a race against a class full of machines. They just think they are. Telling them otherwise may be the most useful thing you do this week.